


Fire From A Busted Gun

by yersifanel



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011)
Genre: Brainwashing, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Torture, M/M, Mind Control, Pre-Slash, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-29
Updated: 2012-10-10
Packaged: 2017-11-15 06:19:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/524070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yersifanel/pseuds/yersifanel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>According to the report, Loki had several broken bones and had head injuries in the front of his skull as well as the back. He also seemed to be sick, for he was getting a fever and was confused as hell. </p><p>The report didn't state it like that, mind you, they used some fancy words, but Tony could easily see by the way he kept asking where he was, who they all were, and what he had done that Loki was one big ball of confusion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this](http://norsekink.livejournal.com/10823.html?thread=23155783#t23155783) prompt at the norsekink.
> 
> Many, many thanks for my awesome beta Dunicha for helping me out with this story!

No alarms sounded, it all happened too fast and no one had given a second proper thought to the course of action. Containment was the priority. 

Loki's eyes scanned the room as the guards ran around shouting about danger and getting everything ready and the god raised an eyebrow in a silent question. His answer came shortly after as the secure door of his cage opened. 

"What is the meaning of this?!" His voice was demanding and his demeanor showed anger, but once Doctor Banner was inside the cage with him and the door closed, he didn't need an answer to know what was going on. It was fairly obvious that his plan to unleash the Hulk had backfired on him. 

Bruce was breathing slowly, his fist curled at his sides, his eyes closed, but his jaw was closed so tightly it looked painful. 

"Shut... Up..." the scientist hissed and his eyes snapped open. 

Loki took a few steps backwards until his back collided with the glass surface and glanced uncertainty over his shoulder where the rest of the Avengers were waiting in doubt. 

His eyes darted around the room, Black Widow's expression was blank, but Loki could see the unspoken statement there: 

This was what you wanted, wasn't it? 

Banner crouched and fisted his hair; a low growl coming from his throat rumbled around them and Loki's eyes moved from the spy towards the monster waiting to come out and back to the others. 

Tony was looking between them and yelling at Fury, who was equally yelling back. Loki couldn't make much sense of their words; his mind was on the menace in front of him. 

Banner finally looked up and his eyes were on Loki, then the scientist was gone and the manifestation of his rage took his place. 

The sound of the beast sent a chill down his spine and his first instinct was to call on his magic. He pressed his palms against the glass, wanting to face across it, but the Hulk was having none of it. He grabbed Loki and promptly smashed him into the floor several times, then threw him against the glass.

Loki gasped in pain and then everything became a blurry picture.

There was an explosion and Loki thought of Barton coming yet being too late. The alarms now were ringing in all intensity and the cage moved as the Hulk tried to smash the glass, denting it.

"Stop it!" Loki yelled as he scrambled to his feet, "You will send us both down!"

Fury was yelling orders, Stark was shouting something about fixing the engine, the Widow was gone and the Soldier as well. Thor was pacing around shouting, Mjolnir in hand.

Loki tried to dodge the Hulk but he was once again trapped in his hold and promptly smashed against the glass like a rag doll. 

There was a sharp pain and then dizziness. He heard and felt his skull cracking, warm blood falling down his face and smearing into the glass. 

Tony was at the control panel, typing fast and desperately, trying to overwrite the protocols of the system, with Fury yelling at him. 

The last thing Loki saw before the cage's system finally reached its limited point was his brother shouting his name and Stark's scream of denial, then everything was a free fall, a very painful free fall. 

He had underestimated Fury's words and the Hulk's volatility and now he was paying the price. 

Two bodies colliding inside a metal cage, falling, faster each second. 

The Hulk was roaring, moving in the air and targeting his rage on him and Loki once again was smashed against the glass surface, finally breaking it. 

Everything became white noise, pain and a free fall towards an unmistakable ending. When the explosion of an even greater pain assaulted him and the fall was finally over, he was all too glad of succumbing to unconsciousness. 

\--- 

He wanted to scream, yet he had no voice. 

He could only stare with wide eyes as the pain assaulted his mind, pulling, pushing, ripping, tearing and then forcing everything back together in a different way. 

His body was broken, he couldn't fight anymore. He couldn't even remember how long he had been fighting. 

He felt cold and that made him realize in how much of a bad situation he was in, for he had never felt cold before, ever. 

A voice was whispering in his ear. Sweet words and promises. Another was screaming for him to just let go. 

His vision was clouded, his voice was gone and the ripping, tearing, pulling and pushing in his mind continued. 

Someone was laughing and then he could hear his voice again, but the words were not his own. 

The rightful King of Asgard. 

 _No! No! I never wanted the throne..._  

Betrayed. 

 _I never wanted this, I just... I could have done it, father..._  

I, who was, and should be King! 

 _No... No... I only ever wanted to be your equal..._  

His own voice was mocking him, laughing at him and he couldn't make it stop. 

Weak, runt, mistake, monster, bastard. 

Not Worthy. 

Loki wanted to scream, but his voice had been stolen.

\--- 

Bruce woke up with a ringing headache and the all too familiar feeling of the actions done by the Hulk slowly surfacing in his mind. He blinked away dust and slowly sat up. He was sitting on a large pile of debris inside a warehouse. 

"Are you ok, son?" Bruce blinked again, slowly turning his head to see an old man in a uniform kneeling a few meters from him, over another pile of debris, looking at him over his shoulder. "You two made quiet an entrance. You seem fine, though." 

"Did I hurt anybody?" He asked, his voice giving away how guilty he felt. 

"There's nobody to hurt here, but you scared the hell out of some pigeons," the old man was hovering over something in the other debris pile, looking concerned. "I left you some clothes there, I didn't think they would fit until you shrink down." 

Bruce was still disoriented, but he was grateful for the clothes. He was in the process of getting dressed when he remembered the events more clearly and the old man's words. 

"You two?" He asked out loud and jumped off the debris pile to climb to the other, kneeling beside the security guard. 

"I'm not sure if he can make it, too much blood..." 

Bruce was only partially listening; the image of Loki's body spread over the debris with clearly broken bones and blood all over his face and pooling around his head was almost mesmerizing, he couldn't look away. 

"Is he, hem, alive?" 

The guard gave him an odd look and made a hand gesture; Bruce noticed his fingers were coated in blood from where he had touched Loki to check his pulse. 

"Yes, somehow," the old man frowned, "I think." 

Bruce moved slowly and checked for himself, finding a pulse and slow breathing. Bruce didn't know if feel glad or disappointed about it. 

"I, I need to contact, hum, someone," Bruce was fidgeting with his hands and the guard handed him a cell phone. 

"You may want to call an ambulance, I wasn't sure if I should do it." 

"No, no, no, thank you," Bruce's hands were shaking and he had to correct the number twice before hitting the dial key, "I know someone who can help." 

The security guard didn't look fazed and just nodded absentmindedly as Bruce waited for Tony to answer his cell phone. 

Loki twitched. 

"Oh, he's waking up!" The old man smiled and Bruce almost dropped the cell phone. 

He didn't know what he was expecting from Loki after their encounter, but the look of dread and confusion he got was defiantly not what he had in mind. 

Loki instinctively moved to get away, but the pain assaulted him and sent him to the ground. He uttered a piercing shriek. 

"Oh my God," the old man nervously hovered over the fallen Asgardian and gently placed a hand over his chest, "Don't move son, you will only hurt yourself." 

"I-I-I... w-where am I?" Loki shuddered, "W-Who a-are y-you?" his eyes were moving way too fast, from Bruce to the security guard and around. 

Bruce was watching in confusion when Tony's voice shouting on the phone finally got him out of his stupor. 

"Tony, this is Bruce," He said as calmly as he could and put him on speaker because he couldn't keep his hands from shaking, "I'm with Loki in a warehouse—" 

"New Jersey," the old man supplied looking over his shoulder and then turning back to Loki, speaking slowly, trying to calm the confused god down, "Oh my, we are not going to hurt you son, calm down." 

"T-This realm, w-which r-realm?" Loki chocked and coughed blood, then winced in pain, his whole body shivering. 

Bruce eyed him warily, "Something's wrong with Loki." 

"What is _not_ wrong with Loki?" He could hear how Tony was speaking to Fury and moving at the same time, "Son of a bitch was going to set the damn cube at my tower's roof! We stopped Selvig in time, by the way." 

"Oh, that's, that's great." 

"Tower?" Loki looked alarmed, "Cube, w-what?" 

He tried to sit up again only to promptly fall back and the security guard took his jacket off to put it under Loki's head, gently touching his head to apply pressure to the wound. 

"Come on son, stop moving," Loki blinked several times and shook his head, but the security guard gently cradled it in his hands to prevent him from doing it again. 

Bruce was very puzzled and Loki was making him nervous. "Just... hurry up, please." 

He almost jumped when Loki grabbed his wrist, but the look in his eyes stopped him. It was something Bruce had seen before, in his own eyes. 

"Please," Loki said in a very small voice, "Talk to me... please." 

Bruce narrowed his eyes and Loki let go, cowering away and swallowing another gasp of pain. Bruce didn't know what to make of it. He couldn't tell if Loki was pulling a very elaborate act or not, but a voice in the back of his head told him that such a stream of emotions had to have at least some degree of reality, so he made an executive decision. 

"All right," he finally said and the old man gave him an odd look. "Let's talk." 

\--- 

Tony tilted his head sideways and blinked, then crossed his arms over his chest and repeated the gesture but towards the other side. He knew he was staring. Not like anyone would mind, really. They were supposed to be watching, anyway. 

So the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist was watching and getting more confused by the second; its not a feeling he was particularly fond of. Tony liked to have answers, not just get a bunch of questions. 

When they brought Loki back to the Helicarrier he didn't fight at all, he just looked around with huge clouded eyes as the paramedics did their job – Fury had been reluctant about it, but Bruce just told him Loki wouldn't do a thing. Turned out his fellow scientist was right. 

According to the report, Loki had several broken bones and had head injuries in the front of his skull as well as the back. He also seemed to be sick, for he was getting a fever and was confused as hell. 

The report didn't state it like that, mind you, they used some fancy words, but Tony could easily see by the way he kept asking where he was, who they all were, and what he had done that Loki was one big ball of confusion. 

Fury allowed Loki to be medically treated because Thor had let them use the magic suppression cuffs he had brought with him from Asgard to restrain Loki, but Thor hadn't been the one to snap them on Loki. The big guy wasn't allowed to see his brother just yet. It had been Tony and what surprised him the most was the fact that Loki didn't fight him at all. He just looked at the cuffs, surely recognizing the design and the runes and then at Tony, probably wondering how he got his hands on them. 

In the end, Loki let the medical team to do their job, and the trickster remained in silence through the whole ordeal; he didn't even protested when they removed his armor and changed to scrubs and he kept doing what he was being asked to, he just eyed the cuffs with a strange look in his eyes and sighed. 

Now those eyes were watching him. Thanks to the alien-asgardian-whatever healing factor, Loki's wounds would heal faster, or so he had told the EMT team in a small voice that was freaking Tony out, but the fever was not going down so he was in observation. 

Loki was making everybody nervous, everyone but Bruce. He just blinked lazily and turned to look at Loki every time someone said something, they exchanged looks and Loki did as he was told, it was really weird. Bruce was talking about it right now with Fury and Thor. 

Tony was getting very frustrated. 

"Okay, what's your game?" Tony finally asked and Steve gave him a look he ignored. 

"Pardon me?" 

"Your game, Rudolf," Tony hissed, "You can't get the Tesseract back and you let SHIELD capture you again?" 

"Tony..." 

"No, no, I'm talking Cap, I'm not done talking!" 

Loki gave him an uneasy look and mumbled a reply, "I do not want the Tesseract." 

"Oh, sure you don't, is not like you destroyed an entire base while stealing it, dragged several SHIELD soldiers with you, including a master assassin and a scientist, and tried to open a goddamn portal over New York to invade the planet with whatever is at the other side!" 

Loki frowned and lowered his eyes, spanning his own body, and then going completely rigid "The... other... side..." 

Tony would later on blame his own big mouth for not being connected with his brain and thinking twice before spilling details to an apparently unstable deity. For the moment he was too busy calling for help because said deity was having a panic attack. 

Just perfect. 

\--- 

Phil Coulson was very good at his job. For the same reason, he was very good at connecting dots and making theories and getting results. That is why he was currently talking with a recently cranially recalibrated Clint Barton, who was still pressing an ice pack against his temple. 

"Side effects?" the agent asked. Clint glared at him and Phil just gave him an apologetic smile. "You know how this works, Agent Barton." 

"Yeah, I know," Clint sighed, "Apart from the obvious headache, hum... nausea, confusion, my ears ring, I feel jet-lagged and the medical team stated I have a light fever, but I just feel cold." 

"Selvig has more or less the same side effects." Coulson then opened Loki's file and exchanged a few words with the medical team via radio. 

"Why do you have that file?" Clint grunted, looking around the room for Natasha, who left for a moment. 

"Our alien friend has the same symptoms as you two, only in a very much large scale, his fever spiked a few minutes ago, after a very long and tedious panic attack... and he seems to be having hallucinations at the moment." 

"What?" 

Coulson made a face and slightly lowered the volume of his ear piece, but Clint was able to hear Loki's ear-piercing scream anyway. Clint frowned, trying to remember more of his time under Loki's command. 

"Is his scepter is close to him?" He asked and Phil turned from the file to him. "His scepter, is it anywhere near him?" 

"The laboratory, not exactly near—" 

"Get it to the other side of the Helicarrier," Clint interrupted, "Just... I think I remember a couple of times that thing would make him zone out. See if you can get it away from him, I got a feeling." 

Phil nodded and quickly gave the order then turned back to Clint. "What else you remember? We need more details about what might be going on with Loki; we cannot risk this to be just another trick." 

"I was his second in command, without me in charge a rescue operation won't be set, at least not soon." Clint grunted again, it had been a while since the last time he ate or slept. That thought suddenly gave him an idea, "I have not eaten or slept much since Loki's arrival..." 

"You can rest after this, don't worry, we just need to get as much information as we can; besides, it's obvious you need to rest, you look pretty bad." 

"No, it's not that. I do need rest, but what I meant is that I have neglected my personal needs all this time and it has only been a few days. We didn't rest much, but we ate and drank, but I can't remember Loki accepting more than a water bottle the first night we were working. He seemed to have forgotten he has to eat, drink and sleep in order to function, unless crazy aliens don't need to do that." 

"No, we are pretty sure they do, at least Thor does, and the medical team has stated that Loki is in the first stage of malnutrition and his hallucinations might be due the lack of sleep among other things." 

Coulson placed a hand over his ear piece, turning the volume a little higher only to then take it off his ear as the screams started again. 

"How bad is it?" Clint asked while looking at the ear piece on the table. 

"Thor is trying to calm him down, but he keeps on shouting something about not being worthy and that he should be dead, he's also babbling about monsters and punishment," Coulson eyed the ear piece for a moment before turning it off again. "I not sure if I prefer the calm, cynical Loki over this one." 

Natasha opened the door, "We got a problem." 

"What is it?" Asked Clint, trying to get up, and failing to do so as dizziness overcome him again. Natasha was by his side in a second. 

"The Tesseract is acting up again. Coulson, Fury needs you in the main lab." 

Coulson took his ear piece and left the room while Clint and Natasha stayed there. Clint sighed heavily and stopped trying to get on his feet, instead resting his head on his arms over the table. 

"If I feel like crap and if Loki is not lying... Then I have an idea of what he is going through, sucks to be him." 

"Do you pity him?" Natasha arched an eyebrow, curious of the new situation. 

"No, but I might feel a little sympathy for him, maybe." 

Clint closed his eyes. He really needed to sleep. 

\--- 

Tony couldn't understand when the cuffs stopped being an instrument to restrain Loki from doing something against them and became an instrument to prevent the apparently-not-actually-deluded-maniac from hurting himself. 

Even with a dangerous high fever and with his magic suppressed, Loki was putting up one hell of a fight and Thor had to pin him down to stop him from clawing at his eyes, not that he had been very successful. Loki had managed to slice his own cheek at some point, but after what felt like an eternity, he finally passed out. 

Now Thor was at his brother's bedside holding his hand while Tony was using a small laser to trim Loki's nails; no one wanted to know what he could do to others if he had sliced his own face. They had given him a strong sedative to keep him unconscious; it was the safest option, for now. 

"I do not understand," Thor said. They had been in an uneasy silence for a while now, but Tony just ignored it. He was having his own thoughts about the situation. 

"Hmm?" Tony didn't look up, he was busy looking at the inside of Loki's arms and trying to figure out what the marks there were. 

The more he observed, the more appealing the idea that someone else was behind Loki's actions, especially after seeing the Medical Team's report of the full extent of Loki's wounds. It was obvious that many had not been caused by The Hulk. Not the old ones and not the ones that clearly had been done by a blade or something equally sharp. 

"This concealment, this lack of composure, this is not Loki's approach to situations; he would never pretend to be weak to gain sympathy, he is far too proud for that." 

"I don't think he is pretending, Point Break," Tony gently lifted Loki's wrist to show him the inside of his arm, presenting the half healed scars there. It looked like someone had carved a counter in Loki's skin, there were several lines in groups of five all over it, "Unless he has a blood kink, I really don't think he would carve lines on his own flesh to count." 

Thor examined Loki's other arm, finding the same half healed scars. He stood up and lifted the sheets to examine his brother's unconscious form in further detail. By his expression Tony could tell he disliked what he found. 

"What is the meaning of this?!" 

Tony finished his job with Loki's nails and made a gesture for Thor to sit down, "I can't solve an equation if I don't have all the variables, so I need you to talk to me." 

"Talk?" 

"Yes, I need to know what happened the last time you saw your brother and try to put all the pieces of this puzzled together to figure out what is the meaning of this." He echoed Thor's words for emphasis and gestured towards Loki. 

"I only know what I experienced and what my parents told me. I cannot say I have the full story, for I do not know what was crossing my brother's mind at that time." 

Thor looked pained to admit this, Tony could tell, and for some reason he wasn't totally surprised that miscommunication was an important factor in the situation. After all who greets family by throwing them off a moving plane? 

"Just... give me what you got, we will figure out the rest later." 

\--- 

Natasha was holding Loki's scepter in the main lab when Bruce and Erik were trying to stop the Tesseract from acting up again. They couldn't afford it after what happened to the base. 

She didn't see it coming. 

The blue mist surrounded her and then it was as if someone had knocked the breath out of her. She wasn't in the main lab anymore, but a place dark and surrounded by strange creatures. 

They were angry, very angry, yet they were holding back, waiting for command as they hissed and growled at her. 

Some part of her knew this was not entirely real; this was not happening 100% around her. She could feel the floor of the lab under her feet, but the air around her was that of this dark and humid place. 

This was happening in her head and that made it real. 

Her survival instincts were at their peak and she was holding the scepter as the weapon it was. The waves of danger and mistrust she felt around her were overwhelming, but she stood her ground. 

The hooded figure that advanced towards her kept its distance once Natasha made a defensive move. It spoke in a language she could understand, not because she knew it but because it was aimed directly to her consciousness, she just knew.

It spoke of pain and suffering, punishment for failure. 

But it was not talking about her, no. Natasha understood this message was meant for Loki, and then a lot of things made much more sense to her. 

Loki's words, the meaning behind them, the unconscious reflection of his own being. 

 _This is a child at prayer... PATHETIC!_  

And there was nowhere for him to turn, nowhere to hide, he was so utterly alone. 

Natasha glared at the stranger, a silent promise in her eyes. 

When the world returned to normal, the Tesseract was contained again and she was kneeling on the floor, panting, and there were several people, including Director Fury, around her. 

"I got Loki's notice of unemployment," she narrowed her eyes and Fury knew this meant more problems to the pile, "Looks like we got a refugee in our hands." 

The pieces were slowly coming together; so far she disliked the picture they were forming.


	2. Chapter 2

Tony stared at Thor, who had finished his tale a while ago, and now there was just an awkward silence in the room because Tony had not said a word since then; he just looked from Thor to Loki and back. 

"Yeah, your brother is fucked up." Tony chuckled, but is humorless and dry. 

There were several questions running in his mind. Tony was wondering if Asgard has ever heard of therapy, then again even if they do have something of the sorts, he didn't think Loki would attend that easily. From what he could tell Loki was somehow like him, and Tony was stubborn and not very fond of spilling his guts to a therapist, even if he needed to do so from time to time. He always went to his seasons with a bad attitude; he still wondered how Pepper managed to get his therapist to not resign on the spot. 

"I wish to help my brother," Thor said in a guilt-filled voice, "But I do not know how." 

"Yeah, I can see that," Tony pinched the bridge of his nose and made a face, "Oh this is beautiful, this problem is getting more and more complex by the second, simply beautiful." 

"I find no beauty in this situation, Tony Stark." 

Tony rolled his eyes. Of course sarcasm was not something Thor would easily get; the guy was too simple for his own good. 

A Huge Brave Heart, whereas Loki was a Cunning Stealthy Soul. 

That wasn't something bad, but if you mix a Huge Brave Heart with a Cunning Stealthy Soul, you get a pair that can either work out perfectly right or go terribly wrong. Thor and Loki seemed to be on a fair balance of going right and ending wrong in equal scale, until now. 

Suddenly, he had a feeling. 

"You know what? I gotta go for a moment, try to sleep too, your brother is gonna be out of commission for a while." 

"Stark—" 

"No, no, gotta go, be back later!" 

He knew that his ideas regarding human nature were not always good, but right now he didn't care, he had an unstable deity to figure out. 

\--- 

The world was black and white and there was nothing but the intense feeling of being chased taking hold of him. 

Loki could heard the voices of the creatures that took him out the void, whispering words of hate and promises of pain, but he also could hear his own voice denying all those threats and fighting back, refusing to let himself be taken by those... those _horrible_ creatures. 

Where was that iron will now? It felt like a memory, something he didn't have any more. 

His voice kept on fighting until the resistance morphed into cries, begs for mercy and Loki felt an intense hate, not for the creatures ripping him apart, but towards his own self, for not being able to keep on fighting. 

Loki didn't have a voice to scream any longer, but the whispers just wouldn't stop. They were getting louder, closer, angrier. 

Something inside him was cracking, breaking, shattering as he struggled to get control of his own emotions back, until everything was marked with the disruptor of the consequences of disobeying. 

He opened his eyes... he had to run... he had to hide! 

They were _here_. 

\--- 

"Brother?" 

Loki's eyes were open, but he was not looking at him, his gaze was somewhere far away from the moment, haunted by whatever he was seeing.

Thor was barely able to dodge the blow of the medical tray against his head where Loki pulled at his restraints, breaking the chain and taking the object to defend himself from an attack that was only happening in his head.

"Loki, please, calm yourself!"

Thor dodged another attack. Even in his weakened feverish state, Loki was putting up a fight. Thor could see his brother's sparks of magic bleeding across the cuffs around his wrists, knowing that they were only damping his power, but were unable to completely seal it; they were not designed for such a task after all.

When he got closer to Loki, the green-eyed Ás screamed in the words of old and Thor stopped immediately at the desperate words, taken aback.

Loki took the opportunity and with a keening noise pushed his powers to pass the cuffs restraining him and flee from the room.

Thor remained there as the guards entered the room, he didn't move while Fury came to him demanding an explanation, it was only when Steve's tentative touch on his arm grounded him that Thor reacted.

"Thor?"

The prince of Asgard looked at his fellow avenger with a mixture of sadness and anger, but it was not aimed to him, Steve could tell.

"He is still on the fortress," Thor said without being asked, "His power is weak, and he is scared and confused. He cannot go too far."

"Weren't the cuffs supposed to stop him from doing magic at all?" Asked Fury behind clenched teeth and Thor just shook his head lightly.

"The cuffs are designed to damp his power to stop him from hurting himself if he had no proper control over it, such as in times of sickness, but to actually restrain all his power would take something more sophisticated."

"So, he has worn them before." Everybody turned to see Tony in the entrance of the room, holding his tablet as he surfed across SHIELD's security systems looking for Loki's trace. "He didn't protest when I put them on him."

"Yes, when he was younger and a dangerous illness assaulted him, we had to restrain his power to prevent him from hurting himself." Thor ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "My brother doesn't know where he is, his mind is far away from the present and what he is seeing instead of this place and these people, I do not know." 

Steve made a face, knowing what Thor was saying. "He is hallucinating again, isn't he?" 

"I'm afraid so..." 

"Found him!" Tony passed Loki's trail to the others across the security system and ran out of the room, hoping it wasn't too late to do something. 

\--- 

When Loki came back to his senses, he realized he was still in the Helicarrier and that the terrors chasing him were only in his mind. That didn't bring him peace, if anything, it only made it worse. 

His will had been taken from him, his sanity was shattered, and his power meant nothing if his actions were not really his own. 

Loki was so tired... 

He walked around the place, covering his presence in a mantle of invisibility then dropping it when he was alone again. He just wanted to stop fighting. The pain wasn't worth it, or so he thought. 

By the time he reached the outside platform, his mind was in a very dark place, looking for an ultimatum. 

The noise of the engines was a steady sound around him. It was forging and it should bother him at some degree, yet it was barely noticed. It was nothing more than a second plane in a picture where the main attraction was the dark sky and the clouds extending in the horizon. 

It was a shame, really. The moon was gorgeous tonight; he didn't deserve such beauty as the sole witness of the act of cowardice he was about to commit. 

Loki traced the cuff around his right wrist with the fingers of his left hand, testing how it blocked his access to his magic healing abilities, only leaving his natural resources. Still, he was sure such a fall would end his life with no doubt, it almost did the first time. 

He chuckled humorlessly. How low he had fallen, that once again his only solution was to end everything. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew this was not a solution, but he didn't care. 

He was tired of hurting, and the new waves of fear that came upon him as result of his time in the hands of the Chitauri, plus everything he had already been dragging with him was piling up one after another. 

Loki failed in so many ways he didn't even know how to begin mending them, if there was such an option, but he knew how to end them all. 

He looked at his hands, the pale moon giving an illusion of the real color of his skin, the blue of the Jotnar, the marks of the house of Laufey now in the pair of scars left by the blade of the owner of the Chitauri, a reminder of how many times he disobeyed and how many times he brought punishment on himself, for not knowing his place. 

What was the point of carrying on with the deception that was his life? A series of torments waited for him, but maybe in the realm of the death he would have some peace. 

Loki stood by the edge of the platform and saw the clouds painted with the moonlight and imagined what would be waiting for him once he reached silence. 

He closed his eyes and leaned forward. 

"You don't want to see the sunrise?" 

Loki turned on his heels, almost losing his balance in the process, to find Tony a few feet from him, hands in his pockets, a thoughtful expression on his face as he kept his distance. 

"The sunrise?" Loki wasn't sure what startled him the most, the odd question or the fact that no one had tried to tackled him to the ground yet. 

"Yeah, the sunrise, the guys told me it's really neat from up here and you missed it the last time you were here, 'cause you were in that giant fish bowl." 

"I..." 

"But that was when those weird guys we now know exist were playing remote control with your brain, don't you hate when people do that?" 

"I'm not sure what you mean—" 

"Honestly, what's up with that? Getting into other people's heads and make scrambled eggs of their brains, not cool my friend, not cool." 

"I didn't mean to—" 

"I'm not talking about Barton and Selvig, you were not responsible for that, not 100% anyway, really. How can I label you responsible when you had your brain scrambled too?" 

Tony got closer while rambling, so close he managed to get his arm around Loki's shoulder and guide him a few feet from the edge of the Helicarrier. 

Loki noticed. 

"Why are you denying me this?" 

He looked hurt and Tony had trouble understanding that one. He blinked several times while processing what just Loki said. 

"I'm not denying you anything, you haven't asked for a thing yet," Tony rolled his eyes, "Tell you what; let's sit down here and talk, just talk, ok?" 

Loki slowly got on his knees and then properly sat on the floor, Tony beside him. 

"What do you want me to say?" he mumbled, his eyes drifting to the edge every now and then, "You have no reasons to believe anything coming from me." 

"Actually... I want to apologize for earlier, you know, the whole your game thing and, well, sorry, ok? I can be a total asshole sometimes." Tony shrugged and Loki gave him a weird look, "What?" 

"Nothing," Loki lowered his eyes. Truth was he was surprised by Tony's apology. He truly wasn't expecting it, so he decided to move on. "I do not know what to talk about." 

"Let's start with what happened to you after the last time you tried to kill yourself," Tony got a flask from apparently nowhere and offered it to him, "Thor told me about that one, by the way, do you fancy the feeling of falling or what? Because let me tell you, there is something cool there, but do you know what is way better than falling?" 

"Reach the ground?" 

"No, silly! Flying! Way better than falling." Loki opened the flask warily and took a sip, making a face that made Tony chuckle. "Maybe you are not a whisky type, let's try spiced rum next time, it's sweeter." 

Tony gave Loki a little push with his shoulder and Loki just looked back, confused. 

"Hey, really, you don't need to jump, many things to try, lots of places to see, people to meet..." 

"I'm afraid I don't have the freedom to do that," Loki's smile was sad, Tony tried to not compare it with his own, "I have failed one too many times already and I don't know how to fix this. If there is such option in first place, I cannot see it." 

"And that is why you need someone that can see outside of the box. Come on, come on, spit it out, funny that I'm telling you this, but the first step to fix a mistake is admitting you made one; now tell me, what's wrong?" 

"You cannot do a thing for me, Tony Stark, please spare me the bitterness of retelling my misfortune," Loki took another sip of the whiskey, shutting his eyes and shaking his head afterwards. 

"Hey, you don't know that, I might surprise you, I have a thing for surprising people, come on," Tony affectionately pushed Loki with his shoulder again, this time making the Ás smile a little less bitter. 

"If you must know..." 

"Yup." 

Loki sighed and closed his eyes, unconsciously leaning on Tony for grounding. 

"When I fell across the void I was expecting my end, instead I found myself in a place where death is worshipped by its master and a gift not given to those who beg for it... I didn't reach my demise... _He_ wouldn't let me reach it..." 

Loki closed his eyes, his hands were shaking and Tony clasped them between his own, the flask in between. He didn't say a word and just waited for Loki to keep talking. He was hoping that this idea would work, that the fact that he was giving Loki space and a moment to talk would be enough for Loki to actually do it. 

"I refused to do his bidding," Loki continued, "I refused with _all_ my might..." 

Tony had no idea who Loki was referring to, but it was not the right moment to ask, so he just listened. It was the best he could do right now. 

"My refusal was not well received," the dry chuckled almost made Tony wince, "So they tried to persuade me... still I refused... even as a fallen prince I was not going to lower myself to be someone's _thrall_. 

But... my attempts just... _amused_ him... and he carved in my flesh the count of my refusal... until he got _bored_ and changed his approach." 

Loki closed his eyes, his grip on the flask was making his knuckles go white. Tony didn't stop him; he felt Loki needed to say these things, as he, long ago, after Afghanistan, had the same need. 

"He... he violated my mind... He ripped, shredded and twisted it until my thoughts were no longer my own... there was something else inside... I didn't recognize my own voice and… and I couldn't stop it... and... I am under his control no more... my act of rebellion will stand as a failure to him..." 

Loki's whole body was shaking, he was angry at his failure and at everything that resulted from it. He threw his head back and screamed in the night. 

"I just wanted to stop hurting!" 

Tony closed his eyes trying to not relate to Loki's pain-filled confession. He knew the feeling, so he could understand, but he had to keep himself together in order to do so. 

"Yeah... I can see why," Loki curled on himself as he struggled to suppress another fit of frustration and rage, "But..." 

Loki's gaze was on him in a flash. Green eyes bright with unshed tears, an unspoken question in the air as the silence hanged between them. Tony sighed and moved to hold Loki in his arms, feeling him tense in his embrace, yet he didn't fight it. 

"But you don't have to end _everything_ to stop hurting..." His words were soft, but when Loki dropped his head on his shoulder and finally relaxed in his arms, Tony knew they had reached him. 

It was a start. 

\--- 

Bruce was the type of guy who observes with detail everything and for the same reason, was the type of guy who could just tell a few things about certain situations by just looking, because he was familiar with the patterns of such scenarios. 

When Loki asked him to talk, he knew something was different in him, not on the surface but in his very core. His eyes told Bruce more than the chopped words and the never ending questions. He knew Loki was very near the edge just by looking at him, because Bruce had been at the edge himself too. 

"He should be able to sleep now," his words were casual as he walked around the room to check on Loki, "What I gave him is strong enough. If his metabolism processes it faster, then we can try another dose." 

Thor was not paying attention, too involved in the task of removing the cuffs that were now digging into his little brother's flesh as result of the struggle Loki had provided when he tore the link between them. It had been established after the Chitauri's assault on Natasha's mind and Loki's break down that the trickster was not the enemy. He was still under observation, but the approach had changed. 

At the moment Loki was in SHIELD's custody as a refugee. He will have to be debriefed later on – Tony was taking his turn at the moment. 

They had to put him under suicide watch because of the circumstances, but at least now they had a better idea of what they were dealing with. 

"It is done," Thor gripped the cuffs loosely in his hands, wondering how to help his brother. 

"Thanks," Bruce proceeded to clean and dress the wounds on Loki's wrists as Thor backed off to sit on the chair next to Loki's bed. 

The silence was a little awkward, so Bruce decided to break it. 

"He will get better," his eyes searched for Thor's, "It will take time, but... just trust me, the chances for him to get better now exist, that got to worth something." 

"I hope you are right," Thor mumbled, "I wish for my brother's recovery, but I'm afraid I cannot do much to help him." 

"You can," Bruce countered, "Listen, I know this is going to sound really weird, but I can tell that, at least for now, Loki won't make another attempt against his life, so you actually can help him, maybe by just listening. That worked out for Tony." 

Thor looked unsure but nodded, "I... I will try that." 

Bruce could tell something changed in Loki after his talk with Tony, because when Loki returned to the medical wing, Bruce was able to see something besides despair in his eyes. 

He saw a small beacon of hope. 

\--- 

Tony was leaned over the table with his head on his arms. He looked tired but fine otherwise and since he had prevented a psychological unstable deity from killing himself just a few hours ago, he had the right to be. 

Coulson made the debriefing as simple as he could, and Fury, who was also present in the room, didn't make any comments about Tony's chopped answers. 

"That's pretty much it," Tony said and lifted his gaze to look at Fury and Coulson, a silent question in his eyes. 

Fury rose an eyebrow. "What do you want?" 

Straight to the point, good. 

"What's going to happen to Loki now?" 

Fury pursed his lips in a thin line and remained in silence for a full minute, probably just to mess with Tony's head. "He is still under our custody, but taking into account this resent episode and Agent Romanoff's testimony, we are changing his status to refugee for the moment." 

"That's... That's good, yeah, that works." 

"Stark," Fury's tone was calm, but Tony sensed there was more to it, "The situation is more complicated that we anticipated. Loki is highly unstable, a danger to himself and others." 

"I noticed that," Tony narrowed his eyes, "Why are you telling me this?" 

"Get it in your head, even if Loki is here as a refugee, if his movements compromise the security of our planet, we cannot be responsible for his safety." 

"Shouldn't Thor be the one hearing this? He is his _brother._ " Fury gave him a look that clearly told him he was not fooling him. "Oh no, don't look at me like that, I haven't done anything!" 

"Thor is Loki's brother, that is true, and I will have a similar conversation with him later," Fury commented, "But you, Stark, you were the one that prevented him from jumping, you made your impression, it worked, now make sure it stays that way." 

Fury got up and exited the room before Tony could say anything. 

Well, that was interesting.


	3. Chapter 3

Loki woke up to find Thor at his side smiling down at him. The moment makes Loki's memories stir; he could see himself much younger in a similar position, because he had taken a blow aimed at his brother who didn't see the attack coming from behind. Thor had never been good with attacks coming from behind; he had too much honor for that. 

"Something amusing is crossing your mind, brother?" It was Thor's voice, and after processing the question, Loki realizes he had been smirking at the memory. 

"Only a memory," Loki doesn't deny the title of brother coming from Thor's lips, he doesn't want to deny it, but he also won't admit it out loud. 

Thor just nods and stays in silence after that, observing his brother. Loki's smirk dissolves a few minutes later, growing restless. 

He was still a wanted man in Asgard's eyes, he knew that. 

"Has father told you," he began with uncertainty, making Thor focus his attention on him, "What is to become of me?" 

"He entrusted me with your safe return." 

"I am to face justice, am I not?" Loki kept his gaze on his hands, not wanting to see the pity in Thor's eyes, but it seemed Thor had grown in his absence, for he didn't fall for the omission and took Loki's hands in his. 

"You have to make amends for the wrongs done a year ago, yes," Thor said, "And pay the proper wage." 

"Amends and wage?" Loki frowned, "I tried to kill you! I attacked Jotunheim and destroyed the bifrost!" 

"No you didn't." 

"Thor, do not try to make a fool of me, I know what I did!" 

"No, brother, you didn't destroy the bifrost, _I_ did," Thor said evenly, and Loki just stared. "You tried to kill me and for that you will respond to me, your older brother, not Asgard, and regarding Jotunheim..." 

Thor sighed and Loki bit his lip in anticipation. 

"Has the All-Father told you my punishment for that wrongdoing?" 

"No," Thor answered, "But he told me that the nature of your attack was no less what I wanted to do before my banishment. You did surpass me in the scale of course, but due the fact that the palace was attacked by Frost Giants at the time, most of Asgard, if not all of it, think the attack was for the defense of the realm." 

"What?" Loki couldn't hide his surprise, "But that was no—" 

"Asgard was attacked by Frost Giants that day, and you, the King regent, defended the throne, but when the force of the bifrost was directed to Jotunheim, we realized only a handful were responsible. The entire realm of Jotunheim refused war, so the bifrost had to be sacrificed to stop a massacre, and unfortunately in the process you fell from the bridge." 

Loki stared at his brother, who was smirking at him. 

"You twisted what happened?" Loki asked in disbelief, unsure of how he felt of this turn of events. 

"Father made the official announcement, and no one but our parents and Heimdall know that you are alive; Asgard still mourns his fallen prince." 

"Your friends, they know—" 

"Sif and the warriors three know only what they saw and the All-Father had words with them to set terms for their silence. Mother was particularly cross with them for directly disobeying you about going to Midgard to retrieve me, for that makes them oath breakers." Thor pursed his lips. "Not to mention it was also against Father's wishes... I appreciate their loyalty, but their doing was not entirely right." 

"They were trying to help you," Loki was visibly confused; it was something Thor was not used to seeing. 

"Would you have sent the Destroyer after me had they not come to Midgard?" Thor looked directly into his brother's eyes and Loki didn't look away. 

"No..." He said in a whisper, "I think I would have not." 

Thor nodded, satisfied with the answer and continued, "You do have to face the consequences of your actions, but you are not going to be thrown in a dungeon and left to rot, you _know_ father does not do things _that_ way, brother." 

It was true, Loki knew his father had different methods of teaching lessons and making them learn important things, but he had been so set on the idea that he was facing oblivion for so long that he had lost focus on how things had been before he discovered his heritage. 

"I... just do not know what to think anymore..." 

Thor moved and placed a kiss on his brother's forehead, then clasped a hand on the back of his neck as he used to, while the other remained holding Loki's. 

"It will be well, Loki," Thor said, his voice giving reassurance, "We will make it right." 

Loki dropped his gaze and nodded slowly, hoping Thor's words held truth for his future. 

\--- 

"You missed the sunrise again," Tony said casually as he entered the room, holding a tray in hand and taking a seat in the chair next to Loki's bed. "But we can have breakfast." 

Coffee and bagels, because Tony didn't know how good or bad SHIELD's cafeteria was and preferred to stick with something that was not made by the kitchen staff. Loki made a face when he tasted the coffee and Tony had to add milk and sugar for the Norse god to actually enjoy it; he made a metal note to bring him a latte next time. 

Tony did most of the talking. He babbled about his inventions and how science was awesome, in return Loki would explain a thing or two about magic, which was more or less the science of his realm. 

At some point Agent Coulson arrived to speak with Loki, but he didn't tell Tony to leave, so he shamelessly sat on Loki's bed and stared as Coulson made the debriefing. He interrupted every now and then to make a joke and managed to steal a small smile from Loki. 

Coulson just rolled his eyes. 

When the debriefing was over and Coulson left, Tony showed Loki his Stark Pad to have graphic input of the things he was talking about. 

The hours flew by. Both of them were very comfortable with each other's presence, and neither of them noticed Thor standing in the door way with a pleasant look on his face. 

\--- 

Later that day, Steve volunteered to watch over Loki, who laid calmly asleep in his room. This was a chance for Thor to speak with Tony. 

They were in the workshop, Tony waiting for Thor to come up with the words he wanted to say as he made a few repairs to his armor. 

"Among the warriors of Asgard, Loki is an odd mind.” Thor was looking at a far point in the wall as he spoke, as if remembering another time and place. "His knowledge is very valuable and since he is one of the very few sorcerers in Asgard, his talent is known by everyone... known, not recognized." 

"Really?" there was no real surprise in Tony's voice; he was just giving Thor a cue to keep talking. 

"He was expected to be a different type of warrior, more melee, less in the arts of magic and strategy. I'm not sure why. If not for his cunning mind I probably would have not passed my youth as well as I did; besides, if I am to be a warrior King, who else but my strategist brother could advise me?" 

"That... actually sounds about right." 

"I must admit there were times I wished Loki was more like me, if only to be able to have better understanding of his mind, not because I did not appreciate his talents." Thor sighed, "There were very few to whom my brother could relate. Scholars and magicians are very few in our circles, so he didn't have many to share his achievements with that truly comprehend how important it was for him. You speak to him as one of those few who understand him." 

Tony turned around to look a Thor and smirked, "I think I do, at least to some degree. He's not that hard to get, at least not to me." 

"You are a _Seiðmenn_ , yes?" 

"A what?" Tony gaped at him and Thor chuckled in return. 

"A man of knowledge," Thor explained, "A sorcerer of some kind." 

"Well, I do science, not magic, but science is indeed knowledge." Tony blinked, thinking about the contrast Loki made between science and magic a few hours ago. 

"Loki is a _Seiðmenn_ , and very few understand what he feels because there are very few _Seiðmenn_ in Asgard," Thor commented. "You get him and have helped him to walk away from the path of self perdition, and for that I am very grateful." 

"Well, I..." Tony shuddered, "I just..." 

"I am in your debt, Anthony Stark." 

Thor made a small bow and Tony just nodded, still stunned by the conversation, but feeling fine nonetheless. 

"Yeah, no problem." 

\--- 

It is said that unexpected moments of peace in the middle of a confrontation are nothing more than the calm before the storm. 

Tony wished to punch whoever said that in the face. 

\--- 

"We can't stop it." Selvig felt like he was repeating himself all over again, but nothing would change because he was telling the truth; they didn't know how to stop the Tesseract from whatever it was doing. 

"There has to be something we can do against this," Bruce said stubbornly, "Besides prepare for the blow..." 

There were several armed guards, including Agents Romanoff and Barton, all around the Tesseract, waiting for the worst to happen. 

The machines started to beep like crazy and suddenly that was the only sound in the lab. 

Banner and Selvig stared at the readings with puzzled expressions, but the worry they shared didn't have to be spoken. 

"Something is coming," Bruce said in a strange resigned way. 

"Last time it was Loki," Selvig was moving fast around the consoles, "This time, I don't..." 

Selvig gave Fury a helpless look; in return Fury closed his eye and sighed, staying calm for a moment before turning towards Natasha and Clint. 

"I need you two to get everyone ready. According to Loki's information, the Chitauri are most likely behind this, as they were the ones who sent him here." 

It felt like an omen, because as soon as Fury said those words, the Tesseract reacted, sending a beam of energy and opening another portal, small and only open for a moment, but it was enough to let something through. 

The creature looked like a mixture of an insect and a lizard. He was crouched while supporting his weight on his forelegs on the floor and his long middle and hind legs twitched slightly every once in a while. His skin was grey and all his body structure resembled some kind of praying mantis, and he didn't appear to have eyes. 

All agents had their weapons drawn and pointing without an order emitted, but the creature moved faster than they expected. 

He seemed to drift in and out of view until he finally extended his claws and made a strange high pitched sound that knocked everyone off their feet. The glass around them shattered as the sound progressed and it even drowned out the alarms. The creature crouched and hissed again, fading from the view, leaving behind a strange grey-ish fog that dissolved after a moment. 

"We are under attack, I repeat, we are under attack!" Fury was giving instructions and checking over Bruce, who was still unconscious on the floor, blood running down his ears. Fury tossed his now useless ear piece away and pressed one hand over his ear, "And somebody get me another comm!" 

Natasha and Clint ran from the room in search of the hostile creature. There was a trail of blood running down their ears as they moved, but both agents tried to ignore it. 

They reached their quarters to get more weapons, and Clint reached for a spare ear piece and set up the communication channel. 

"This is Agent Barton, anybody copy?" 

"Rogers here," Captain America's reply reached them over their channel, "Status?" 

"What the hell is going on?" Tony's yell was not entirely minded by Clint, who was still affected by the temporal hearing lost, "Thor's with me." 

"The Tesseract opened another portal, this lizard-insect thing came through, it is extremely fast and it is able to produce a very high sound capable of stunning the receptor," Natasha said fast as she got her weapons ready, "Sorry if I'm yelling, I can't hear very well." 

"Okay, insect-lizard alien thing, fast, can scream pretty damn loud, it is able to make people deaf, got it." From the sounds, Clint could tell Tony was moving to get in the Iron Man armor, he could still hear Thor asking questions, meaning he was with Tony. 

"It also can camouflage and leaves only a grey mist behind." 

"Grey mist?" Captain America's perplexed reaction was followed by the screech of the creature, making everyone turn down the volume of their comms, "I need back up in the sick bay!" 

They were running as fast as they could, because the fight between the creature and Captain America sounded like it was going from bad to worse. 

"Hey!" There was anger in Steve's voice and it almost made everyone stop in their tracks. "Don't you dare..." 

When they reached the sick bay, the creature was standing in the center of the room with Loki trapped in his grasp, long claws digging into Loki's arms, face pressed against the back of Loki's neck. 

Thor didn't wait for instructions. He just threw Mjolnir at it, hitting the creature on the head, barely missing his brother, and making it let go of Loki, who scrambled to his feet and moved away. 

The creature made another high pitched noise, making everyone cover their ears in an effort to block the damage. The creature took the opportunity to move around the Avengers and get closer to Loki. 

"Get him out of here!" yelled Captain America over the sound attack and threw his shield to give Tony some time to move, Thor also threw Mjolnir at the creature again to slow him down. 

"Come on Lo', we don't have much time." Tony was not as harshly affected by the sound attack thanks to his armor, but Loki was covering his ears and Tony saw the trails of blood running down his face and hands, confirming his charge was severely affected. 

Loki supported his weight on Tony as they moved around the base, but the creature was following them, shifting to mist form to dodge the guards and Avengers to get closer to his target. 

Another wave of sound was able to affect the Iron Man system, slowing him down for a moment. Loki looked pale and his hands hadn't moved, they still covered his ears and he looked in very bad shape. 

"Hey, hey, hold on, you will be fine, ok? Loki!" 

Loki opened his eyes, a pained expression plastered over them. There were several blood spots on the white of his eyes and he looked way too pale. It reminded Tony of the effect that the gadget Obadiah had used when he stole his arc reactor had on him. 

"B-Behind you!" 

Loki's scream was not enough warning. Tony was thrown against the wall with such force it dented his helmet, but he got back on his game and shot his repulsors against the Chitauri insect, making it shift to mist form again. 

Loki tripped over his own feet, but Iron Man arrived just in time to catch him. 

"You ok?" 

Loki shook his head and Tony couldn't help but grin at seeing that at least he was being honest. Loki lifted his face towards him, but his eyes remain closed. Tony could hear the others getting closer, Thor's voice booming as he called his brother's name. 

"Please," Loki said in a shaky voice, "Whatever I do, please stop me." 

Loki opened his eyes to look directly at Iron Man and then at Thor. 

"Brother?" 

The grey mist moved, enveloping Loki and forcing its way inside him. Loki choked on it and stumbled backwards, his eyes turning black, then coming back in pupils resembling chips of ice. 

"This will do," said Loki in a double voice, his own with more grave and strange echoes mixed in. 

"Stop right there!" Tony yelled and Not-Loki smirked. 

"The Tesseract," he rasped in the double voice. "Give it to me!" 

Captain America threw his shield before the creature controlling Loki could reach Iron Man, driving his attention towards another target. 

"Let him go." Steve caught his shield as it came back and glared. "Release him." 

"No." 

The creature's smirk was grotesque even in Loki's body and it distressed the others. 

"Whoever you are," Thor hissed, "Leave my brother, _now_!" 

"The Asgardian failed," the creature said. "Failure comes with a price." 

The creature flexed his fingers and in a blast of green and grey, he was gone. 

There was a morbid silence around them, confusion of what they should do about the predicament. It was obvious they had to stop whatever had taken over Loki, but they didn't know how to do it. 

"The Tesseract," Steve's voice broke the silence. "He is going after the Tesseract." 

Everyone moved; there was no need for an order. The priority was to stop the creature from taking the Tesseract, but Loki's safety was still in line, they couldn't forget that. 

\--- 

This was his mind, Loki concluded. 

A place so chaotic and yet so familiar to him it could be no other than his own mind. Still, the place felt foreign. It was an odd feeling he was not fond of. 

He couldn't move. There were ropes tied over his limbs and extending outwards like a spider web, holding him in place, and no matter how hard he struggled, the ropes didn't give in. 

"You failed." 

The lizard-mantis' voice echoed around him and Loki's eyes averted, trying to stop him, but only the mocking voice could be heard, because the presence itself was all around, taking control. 

"Failure comes with a price." 

"I never agreed to do this!" Loki yelled, "I refused!" 

"You were ordered to bring back the Tesseract and you didn't," the voice repeated, "You shall pay the price." 

"No, I—" 

"You will stay here," Loki could almost hear the smirk in that tone, "Watch as I feed from your mind, and take away everything from you." 

"Stop!" 

"Watch." 

He could see everything; he could see himself running around SHIELD's base, but he couldn't do a thing, he couldn't move, he couldn't think. He could only _watch_. 

Loki was a prisoner in his own mind, now more than ever. 

He closed his eyes, not letting the panic take over him. Yes, he was trapped, but he was not _done_. 

"Stop fighting!" 

"No, I think I will not." 

There was a moment where he felt the rope loosen a little, and he made an effort and pushed the lizard-mantis' presence off. 

\---

He could feel his limbs again, and strangely he had never been this glad of being able to feel pain before. Loki looked down at his hands; he had the Tesseract in them.

"Stop right there!"

He lifted his gaze; Fury was pointing his weapon at him.

"You have to stop me," he said firmly. Fury gave him a look very much like the one he gave him at their first encounter.

"I'm trying," Fury hissed and Loki threw the Tesseract at him.

"Try harder!"

Fury caught the Tesseract and handed it to Selvig, who was ready to place it in a container.

"Loki, what is going on?!" That was Tony's voice. Loki immediately looked for him; Iron Man was hovering above him, repulsors ready.

"The mantis is eating my mind," Loki felt the presence of the Chitauri parasite tug the ropes, trying to push him down, "It is so strong, I cannot--"

"Yes you can!" Tony yelled, "Do not let him win!"

"Knock me down, lock me up, _do something_!" Loki screamed again. The parasite's presence was getting stronger, making the edges of his vision go black and suddenly his body was moving again without his consent, aiming an attack towards Iron Man.

He was shocked by the power of the thunder going through his body, which was quickly followed by an apology from Thor. Loki didn't care; the attack had been light enough to stop him for just a moment.

_You cannot fight me, Asgardian!_

"Watch me!" He mocked with the same words used against him and tugged at the mental ropes, taking control of his body again.

"Come on Loki, you can do this!" Tony's voice again, "You are not allowed to give up!"

"Am I not?" Loki chuckled as he twisted his limbs in an attempt to stop himself.

"No you are not, do you have any idea how hard is find someone interesting to talk to these days?" Iron Man was still pointing his repulsors at him, but he kept talking, giving Loki something to ground him. "And just wait 'til Bruce joins the conversation, it will be awesome, so you can't miss it."

"That... s-sounds... n-nice..." Loki gritted his teeth and now there were real ropes holding him as several SHIELD agents bound him.

Loki kneeled on the ground, panting. It was getting difficult to breathe even though none of the ropes were around his neck. How considerate of them.

The Avengers were around him, ready to attack if necessary. Many SHIELD agents held him down with great effort, for his strength was still great even in his current condition.

He screamed again, feeling a great pain in his head, and his ears were bleeding again.

_I will destroy you, Asgardian scum!_

He was clawing at the floor, his nails were broken, there was blood on the floor and he felt a great pain all over his body.

Loki focused his gaze on the crimson liquid and an image appeared in his mind.

"I was raised as an Asgardian," he said to the parasite, "but I am not..."

The temperature in the room dropped several degrees as he shifted to his Jotun from and his mouth opened in a screech that was not his, but the parasite's.

Loki tugged against the mental ropes, tearing them, ripping and shredding, pushing the parasite out of his mind.

The grey mist came out of his mouth as he screamed, his double voice returning to normal. The creature stood before him, preparing for the killing blow.

Iron Man and Thor moved faster, and the combination of the repulsors and the lighting fried the creature enough to make him move away from Loki.

Still in his Jotun from, Loki raised his hands and called for the winter, covering the parasite in ice, stopping his movements and preventing him from changing to mist from and escaping.

Thor was at his side immediately, talking to him, but Loki couldn't make sense of his words. He was so tired...

Unconsciousness had never felt better.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And done! Thank you very much for Reading this story, I hope you liked it, feedback is highly welcome.

It felt like everything was in slow motion. The sounds were a muffled cacophony that was making Tony's head feel as if it was filled with cotton and it took all his self-restraint to not rip his faceplate open and just scream for everybody to shut up; it wasn't his place to do so anyway.

SHIELD's agents were running around to ensure the containment of the Chitauri Lizard-Mantis, Fury was coordinating the logistic of the emergency situation, giving commands, communicating with other agents and repeatedly calling the Medical Team. 

Tony couldn't hear anything. The world became the picture of Loki, skin pale blue and eyes bright crimson. After the ice had covered the enemy, those eyes dazzled around the room and rolled back in his head. Thor ran to aid his brother before Loki hit the ground, a stream of blood coming from his nose in an alarming rate, soaking his clothes and dripping to the ground.

There was a point in which Tony didn't know what was happening, the scene just moved from the battle to Loki and then he was helping Thor, guiding him to the medical team. 

Thor was being questioned. He was talking about adoption and races; he said Loki was a Jotun, a frost giant in the common tongue, and he kept babbling about all the details he could remember about the Jotun nature, the physical details. Tony noted the team was questioning Thor about it to be able to help Loki.

Loki was now paler; his skin turning a washed out shade of blue and the blood just wouldn't stop flowing.

The medical team moved the stretcher where they had placed Loki to the sick bay with Thor following them, while Tony stood where he was, slowly coming back to his senses.

There was a trail of blood from where the battle had taken place to were Tony was standing. The sudden silence almost hurt his ears and the uncertainty of Loki's health was all that filled his mind.

Steve found him standing on the hallway, immersed in his confusion. Even under the Iron Man gloves his hands were shaking but he didn't notice and Steve didn't mention it.

\---

A few days after the incident, the medical team declared that Loki was stable, more or less. He wasn't waking up, but his vital signs were constant. They weren't strong, but they were not getting worse, which counted as a small victory.

Also, he was still blue. Literally.

That was a mixed sign according to Thor, because Loki's Ás form was something he did without thinking about it, a second nature, so if he was not able to shift back at the moment, that could mean that either his body was still defending itself from harm by keeping its natural form or that Loki was so wounded that he couldn't display that ability.

Tony didn't want to think too much about it, he just wanted Loki to wake up. He couldn't shake the image of Loki's crimson eyes rolling into the back of his head as blood ran down his face. Tony had the feeling he won't be able to get rid of that image, but he hoped that once Loki was fine, it would be easier.

After it was painfully obvious that Loki was not going to wake up any time soon, everything faded into an uneasy atmosphere.

Fury asked Thor to explain more about Loki's origins. The Thurderer had only mentioned his brother was adopted, not that he was from an entirely different race. Thor just shrugged off the subject; for him Loki's heritage was of no importance, he was his brother and Asgard's prince nonetheless.

He talked about it anyway.

Thor explained the basis of the different races of the Nine Realms and how the Jotun were fierce enemies of Asgard. Currently they were in an uneasy state of peace, mostly because Jotunheim was still recovering from the damage done by the Bifrost and the fall of their King than anything else, but it was better than war.

"My brother is the blood son of the late King Laufey," he explained. "After the war my father adopted him, but did not tell my brother nor myself about Loki's heritage. Unfortunately this later on had some bad repercussions when brother found out. We are still working on the matter."

His thumb was rubbing circles on Loki's wrist as he spoke; his attention never leaving his brother's sleeping form.

"And what about the scars?" Tony was curious by nature, he couldn't help it.

"You mean these?" Thor ran his fingers over Loki's Jotun marks and not the counter scars on his brother's arms; he tried to avoid those.

"Yes, they look like tattoos, they are... so symmetrical." 

Thor failed to notice the way Tony said that word - fascination and interest with a sense of awe.

"They are not scars, these markings are naturally formed," Thor pointed out. "I cannot say I know much about Jotunheim and her people. What I know I learned after I was told of my brother's blood heritage from books and texts in the library of Asgard. I hope the information is accurate."

His father's revelation about Loki's heritage had put in question everything Thor knew about Jotunheim and her children, so he immersed himself in gathering knowledge about the subject.

This task helped him cope with his brother's apparent death. The feel of the books' pages, the smell of the ink and the calm of the library was somehow soothing and he welcomed it. The pain Thor felt when he thought of Loki death was like a bleeding wound that could never be healed; at least Thor felt that way at that time.

After Loki's fall, Thor he found himself trying to picture his brother's Jotun form in his mind many times. Seeing him in his natural state still surprised him, but in a much more pleasant way than he expected; he could recognize Loki as Loki, no matter his appearance, and that made Thor happy.

Tony hovered over Loki, taking in the detail of the Jotun marks. The way they laced and turned remained Tony of the Mediterranean Henna body art, specially the designs that swirled and curled around Loki's wrists and the back of his hands.

"These marks..." Tony began, "Do they have a meaning?"

"As far as I know," Thor tilted his head, thinking. "However, they meaning differs from each pattern and the particular significance of the patterns my brother carries in his skin is unknown to me."

Tony just nodded, curiosity shimmering in the back of his mind. He made a mental note to ask Loki about it later, because he, of course, was going to wake up. Tony was not going to consider any other option.

\---

"Be honest with me, ok?"

Bruce's eyes moved from the tablet he was reading to meet Tony's. His fellow scientist looked crestfallen and anxious, which probably meant Loki was worse.

"Of course," Bruce conceded, "What do you need to know?"

"The medical team won't talk to me and I want to know what is going on with Loki." If Bruce didn't know better, he would have said Tony was pouting. "But you are practically in charge of his profile, so please talk to me."

"You do know that Fury put me in charge of Loki's health profile because it is related to gamma radiation and other scientific details, and not because I know medicine, right?"

"It doesn't matter." Bruce partially agreed with Tony on this. "My point is, the medical team talks to you, so you can tell me Loki's condition, right?"

"He is currently unconscious," Bruce felt a bit of guilt after that answer, but Tony was pouting for real this time, "Ok, I'll stop it now. Yes I will talk to you Tony, what do you want to know?"

Bruce put the tablet on the table and looked Tony in the eye. He looked almost... bereaved. Bruce didn't know what to make of it.

"Brain damage?" 

It was not even a full question, but Bruce knew what Tony was asking and the full implications of it. Tony saw the bleeding, the comma like state and the fact that Loki's vitals were not changing, and he knew something was terribly wrong.

"It's a possibility," Bruce finally said, his voice low and serious, "We can't tell for sure, not until Loki wakes up, but we can't dismiss the prospect." He closed his eyes and sighed, "You saw the blood Tony, the blood coming from his nose. He was having a serious hemorrhage."

"Yeah, yeah, he said that thing was... trying to eat his mind, I think..."

"I saw the surveillance videos. When Loki shifted his appearance that helped him to force that thing out of his body, but whatever that thing did to him in the process, we don't know, only that it caused him great harm."

Bruce took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose while Tony was staring at some far point on the wall.

"There is the possibility that when he wakes up he won't be himself." It was a somber thought, but Tony knew he couldn't fill himself with only bright happy thoughts. He indeed saw the blood and knew the implications of it. "Fuck!"

"It is just a possibility," Bruce assured him, "Tony, have you seen the scans? He looks so human-like in the outside, but is so much more in the inside; he might well give us a pleasant surprise." There was a small smile in Bruce's lips as he looked at Tony in the eyes, "Besides, you did promise him an awesome conversation that I would join into, he has to attend, right?"

Both were scientists, both knew more about probability, possibilities, stats, test and results more than hope and belief, yet they were clinging to them.

"Yeah," Tony nodded firmly, "He has to."

\---

It was almost impossible to convince Thor to leave Loki's side, but they were able to talk him into eating something and resting while Tony and Steve watched over the sleeping Norse deity.

The picture was almost surreal; Loki still in his sleep-like state, slowly healing with two avengers at his side. Tony was half-sifting half-lying in the chair at Loki's right while messing around with some code with his tablet. At Loki's left, Steve was sketching, his large drawing book laying across his lap and partially over the bed as he leaned forward to check details of Loki's sleeping figure, as he was drawing him.

Tony kept working, but when he moved to casually brush a strand of hair off Loki's face, Steve raised an eyebrow in amusement but said nothing. Instead, he went back to add details to his drawing.

"They moved the alien lizard-mantis thing to another location," Steve said casually, "Top priority containment; they are using hydrogen or something to keep it frozen."

"Well, that shit is dangerous," Tony mumbled, "Being able to turn into mist and force itself into another living being's system? Yeah, I'll want to contained and as far away from me as possible."

Steve stopped drawing for a moment and looked over Loki and then at Tony, "The creature said that was a punishment aimed for Loki, for his failure."

"Your point?"

"That thing failed to 'punish' Loki," Steve's eyes darkened for a moment, "They are still after him."

Tony had thought about it, he was pretty sure the whole team, including Fury, Hill and Coulson had thought about it.

"We are working on a container for the Tesseract, Selvig, Bruce and I," Tony flipped his tablet for Steve to see. "It would make Thor able to use it to go back to Asgard."

"He is taking Loki with him, isn't he?"

"Thor said he wants Asgard's healers to attend Loki, maybe they will be more successful in helping him."

"And what do you think about that?"

Tony chuckled, "I have no say in the matter,"

"Still, what do you think?"

"As long as it helps Loki, then he should give it a try I guess." Tony sighed, "I have no idea what to think, he is not waking up and those Chitauri bastards are still after him. Stopping him from jumping off the Helicarrier doesn't feel like much of an accomplishment now."

"Don't say that." Steve lowered his sketch pad. "You saved him, Tony."

"I can't help him now."

"Still, you saved him and he is going to wake up and remember that," Steve smiled a little, "He is not going to ever forget that, I can assure you."

"Are you talking from experience, Captain? Someone you saved?" Steve nodded and Tony couldn't help but smile. "Well, isn't that great."

"Yes, it is."

Tony nodded, and once again moved to brush the hair off Loki's face, ignoring everything else.

"Come on Rudolf, wake up, things are getting a bit boring around here."

Steve went back to his drawing, using soft touches of the carbon and his fingertips to add shadow to the silhouette and the full edge of the crayon to mark the patterns on Loki's skin. It wasn't the first time Steve had seen something unusual in human form - he would never, ever, forget Red Skull - but it was the first time he considered it so... calming.

It was probably just the fact that Loki was unconscious, because he had seen Loki fight, and he was a fierce opponent. 

Now that he thought about it, he compared what he knew and had seen of Loki, including this azure form and the ice power of the winter itself and concluded that Loki was without a doubt a wielder of the winter; fierce and deadly but also calm and beautiful. 

"Do you like winter, Tony?" He asked suddenly, making Tony raise an eyebrow.

"It has its perks, why?"

"Oh, no reason."

Tony glanced at Loki for a long moment, feeling the little prickle of cold from his skin, then rethought the Captain's question, finally to glare at Steve, "You're a lousy liar, Cap."

Steve just rolled his eyes, chuckling.

\---

Clint was openly staring and thinking so hard Natasha could almost hear him. She didn't say a word, waiting for him to evaluate the situation and form the words he wanted to say instead.

"What are we doing, Tasha?"

"We are taking our turn in watching over Loki while Thor sleeps."

"Stark seemed more eager to be here."

"Yes, but Stark forgot he can't function on caffeine alone and he has to sleep too. Dr. Banner took him to rest before he drank more coffee."

"So... we are watching over Loki?" Clint tilted his head, arms crossed over his chest, legs popped up in the bed, careful to not disturb Loki.

"It seems." Natasha turned the page of her book and got a little more comfortable in her chair. "You are thinking too loud."

"No I'm not." 

"You don't have to like him to do your job, Clint."

"We are watching over Loki, here, in the sick bay, making sure nothing weird happens, including aliens than can turn into mist and invade and take control of a demigod's body."

Natasha's gaze rose from her book, "Yes?"

"It's not that, it's just..." Clint grunted in frustration, "my head is still a mess."

"Just tell me Clint, you know I will listen."

He nodded but still took his time to think and find the proper words.

"Are we..." He sighed and ran a hand over his hair, "Are we prepared for this, Tasha?"

Loki was part of a whole new experience, a new threat, something they have not seen in such scale before, and Loki wasn't even the tip of the iceberg.

She knew this.

"No." Natasha closed the book and looked at him in the eye, "Monsters and magic. No, we are not prepared for this, but since when that has stopped us before?"

Clint smiled a little, "Yeah..."

"We will work around this, we will learn, and we will do the best we can."

"Because that is what we do," Clint added.

"Yes."

They shared a look, one that promised to support the other in this new mission.

It was true that they were not ready, but it was also true that they would be.

\---

Tony observed the way Thor gently wrapped his brother's fingers around the handle of the Tesseract container. He almost felt a stab of jealousy in the way Thor held Loki against his chest and murmured something in their ancient tongue, as if Loki could actually hear him.

Keyword: almost.

He sighed at his own childish attitude and kneeled next to Thor to help him gather the container between him and Loki, the rest of the team were around them, observing as their teammate was about to leave to his world, seeking for his brother's well-being.

"I yearn to come back with glad news, my friends."

Steve nodded as he kneeled next to Tony, and extended his hand to Thor. "And we hope you do."

Thor acknowledged this with a firm nod and placed the hand that was not holding Loki's still form on Tony's shoulder.

"Thank you, Anthony Stark."

"Yeah, yeah, keep in touch, ok?"

It was a strange sight; the mighty Thor kneeling on the floor holding his brother against his chest, the Tesseract shimmering inside its container between them. Tony was sure more than a few curious SHIELD agents were strolling around the back of the building just to get a chance to see what was going on at the back of the facility.

Director Fury stood a few steps from their little group, Coulson and Hill at his sides, just observing.

Tony placed his hand atop Loki's, "Get better, Rudolf."

Thor activated the container as soon as Tony got up. He stood slowly, yet he missed Thor's surprised look.

The last thing Tony saw before the blue light of the Tesseract took both Aesir princes home was Loki's crimson eye fluttering open to look at his.

He kept looking at the sky for a few minutes and then barked a laugh.

"You had to pick that moment to wake up, didn't you?!" He was laughing so hard it made the others crack smiles and some giggles. Tony sighed in content and crossed his arms over his chest. "Sneaky bastard."

He didn't know when they were going to see them again, yet he found himself waiting for that day.

Tony Stark put his sunglasses on and walked back to SHIELD's facility, Bruce and Steve behind him.

He had a Tower to adapt for the functionally-dysfunctional team he was now part of and a Norse God to trace. He took out his mobile phone and smirked.

"JARVIS, as soon as you can run the program, do it."

"Already done, Sir. The signal is not very strong, but it's present."

"Perfect."

"You put a tracker on him?" Bruce looked amused, "And it's working?"

"It's just a prototype," he said. "And if it works as I wanted it to, I would get sound."

Steve rolled his eyes, an amused expression on his face.

Yes, this team was going to be interesting.

\---

[Epilogue]

It took Tony several nights, many tries and half the Tower's energy to be able to map what part of the Universe Asgard was in. Far away didn't even begin to cover it, but his little tracking device was working fine and allowed him to at least have an idea of where Loki and Thor were.

He was delighted - but he would never admit it out loud, thank you very much - when he made the sound option work and he was able to hear Loki.

What was even better, Loki was talking to the freaking thing! He was talking to the tracer as if he was aware Tony could hear him, and maybe he was, Tony couldn't tell. He had not developed a function to get sound there. It was just a prototype after all.

"I'm still not allowed out of the healing quarters, Eir barely lets me out of bed! My mother fully supports her instructions; I'm not sure how to feel about it."

Tony worked while listening. Sometimes Bruce came by and kept him company, both listening to Loki's words.

"I was expecting endless wrath from the All-Father, to be held and spoken to as a lost son who was found was something I did not expect."

Loki narrated how Odin had dictated a fitting 'punishment' for the actions that were under his control: once he was in full health he was to help with the repairs of the Bifrost and he would go to Jotunheim with Odin and use something called the Casket of Ancient Winters to repair the damages done to the realm.

He sounded wary of the prospect of going to this Jotunheim place and Tony worried this would have a negative impact on him.

Fortunately, it seems that whatever Odin did to reassure his younger son worked, because he sounded better next time he talked.

"I cannot change forms yet and its summer time in Asgard, it is bothersome..."

Tony tried to not laugh, but he could almost picture Loki's pout.

Loki went from details of the Bifrost's magical components to how his visits to Jotunheim were going as planned. On this last task he walked the hidden paths alongside his father to reach the realm of the ice giants and secretly did the repairs of the damage he had caused.

He sounded exhausted every time, but good nonetheless.

It seemed Loki carried the tracer with him, because they were able to hear Thor several times.

The day Loki announced he had enough control over his own power again to shift between forms at will, Tony felt relived, because it meant that what the Chitauri parasite did was not permanent.

Months passed by and as the repairs of the Bifrost advanced, Loki choose to leave the tracer behind, probably in his chambers; still, he came back and talked out loud almost every day.

It wasn't much, but at least he knew Loki was fine.

\---

Tony was asleep; drooling on his pillow, when JARVIS announced the tracer had abruptly changed locations.

"Wha..?"

He was on his feet and blindly ran to the display to check the new location.

"JARVIS, this is not funny."

"I am not joking, Sir." The AI sounded smug; Tony wondered how it managed to do that. "The tracer's current location appears to be Stark Tower."

Tony stared at the screen for a moment, and then the security system detected four presences in the roof.

"Four?"

"There are three unknown persons located in the roof, Sir. The fourth person reads as Loki."

Tony got up and went to his tower's roof. He found Loki, skin pale pink and green eyes, picking up the tracer from the floor. Behind him where three men dressed in complicated armors. Two of them moved to stand in front of him immediately and Tony repressed the urge to point out they were in his tower's roof.

"It is well," Loki said, waving them apart, "I was expecting to him, please wait here."

"As you wish, my liege," said one of them, his helmet a little more elaborated than the other two.

"You took your time." Tony shoved his hand inside his pockets and smirked smugly at him.

"I was unwell, please excuse my delay." 

"Oh, but I heard you were getting better, or at least you said so, you know, to the tracer."

Loki held the little device in his hand and looked from it to Tony.

"I was not sure you could hear me," he admitted. "I'm glad I was not just talking to myself after all."

Tony took the tracer and held it over his head, "I'm working on a better version, one that allows communication both ways."

"That would be acceptable."

"Oh, admit it, you couldn't wait to hear my lovely voice again."

Loki sighed, but there was a small smile in his lips, "Your ego doesn't need my encouragement, but I did miss you."

Tony motioned Loki to follow him to the other side of the roof, and the guards got the hint and remained at the other side.

"What's the deal with your chaperones?"

"Escort," Loki corrected, "The All-Father wouldn't allow me to come without an escort," Loki shrugged, "I had to wait for my magic to recover a great deal to be able to take them with me through the paths between worlds, hence the reason for my delay."

Tony tilted his head, "I was under the impression you guys didn't go around with escorts."

"Apparently you lose that right when you deliberately let yourself fall from the Bifrost," Loki's eye twitched, "I am yet to regain my father's confidence where my own safety is involved."

"Oh, Mom and Dad won't let you do a stupid thing again." Tony couldn't help but tease, it was in his nature.

"Not if it's in their power," Loki agreed, feigning an expression of exaggerated suffering in his face, making Tony giggle. "Strangely enough, it doesn't annoy me that much."

"Oh really?"

"They are very bearable," Loki closed his eyes, "And apparently they like me."

"You said it as if that was strange."

"Not strange, just uncommon," he pointed out. "The captain used to be my escort when I was but a child. I know him well enough, and I think I trust them."

"That is very good," Tony offered him his hand and pointed to the bench near the edge, "Also, you arrived just in time for the sunrise."

Loki eyed the horizon and then took Tony's hand.

"That is most fortunate; it would be a shame to miss it for a third time."

"Yup."

Tony wasn't sure what he had with Loki, and he was sure Loki had no idea as well, but whatever it was, it was good.

It wasn't a start; they got that back in the Helicarrier. No, this was progress.

He liked it.

[End]


End file.
